Ugh

I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I just got a voicemail from my great-great-aunt, Jill, asking me if I wanted to go to church. Here's her message:

"Hi, Sarah, it's just Aunt Jill here. I was wondering if you wanted to come to church next Sunday, dear. Oh, and bring that nice Aaron boy too. Call me back, dear. I love you."

I wanted to rip my hair out, scream, and cry. FML.

Oh yeah, and this blog isn't just for my writing, it's also for me to well...blog. Yeah.


Someone please save me from my family. I'll put up what the deal with Aaron is later. Bye.

Breathless - Poem

White cloth, white linen,
Hiding behind your innocent eyes,
And soft angelic face,
It looks so perfect,
Except your lips are blue,
And I just couldn't save you.

The tears roll silently down my cheeks,
And I want to shout at the man who couldn't bring you back to my arms,
I want to shout,
Give me my angel, give her back!

Forever gone,
Your heart stopped beating,
Because I just couldn't save you.

Today I'll stand there and watch them bury you,
I'll watch them forever take away my angel,
If I believed in heaven,
I could pretend that you'll sprout your white wings,
And fly to safety,
But I know that won't happen.

Now we all stand in black,
And watch our beautiful baby girl,
Be lowered into the ground.

I'll take your mother into my arms,
As she cries into my shoulder,
The disease destroyed you,
And now we can't have you back,
And we'll all let the tears come,
Because we couldn't save our baby girl.

Butterflies fluttering, my head feels light,
Is this what it feels like,
To fall for someone?
You're too good for me,
I'm so scared that you'll leave me.

Every time I see you,
I fall a little more,
I promise, I'll never hurt you,
Please, just fall with me,
I don't want to be alone.

I know you,
I've fallen for you,
Somehow you know what to say,
To make me fall for you,
By your side, I'm by your side.

Every time I see you,
I fall a little more,
I promise, I'll never hurt you,
Please, just fall with me,
I don't want to be alone.

You pull me closer,
Our lips touch,
And slowly I forget everything else,
You make the world disappear,
Because right now, it's only you and me.

Every time I see you,
I fall a little more,
I promise, I'll never hurt you,
Please, just fall with me,
I don't want to be alone.

Every time I see you,
I fall a little more,
I promise, I'll never hurt you,
Please, just fall with me,
I don't want to be alone.

Afraid - Poem

Scared, I'm so scared,
Afraid, I'm so afraid,
That I'm falling,
just to get hurt all over again.

I know you're too good for me,
I know that you're better than me,
Please don't hurt me,
I don't think I could stand the pain.

I'm falling,
Hoping you won't break my heart,
Please don't do this to me,
I can't take the pain.

    Scared....
        I'm so scared...

For Sarah - Poem

Pen in hand,
She writes her last goodbye,
"Sorry for the trouble,
I wish I could have been good enough for you."

Tears in their eyes, they read,
Her mother cries,
She's lost her daughter...lost her joy,
Her father stays silent,
Feeling guilty that he couldn't save her.

Kids at school, they once teased her,
They all hear the news, slightly shocked,
At the service they'll put on a sad face,
But do they really care?

Her friends weep,
Wishing they could have said something to change her mind,
Her parents grieve,
Wondering how they missed the signs.

Sarah, we'll miss you,
Sarah, you deserved better,
Sarah, your lost sould is now at rest,
Sarah, we'll never forget you.